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The Silence of the Lambs
An excellent example of how to create atmosphere and simultaneously build tension can be found in this script. Ted Tally's adaptation of the Thomas Harris book is a creepy, freakish, and frightening descent into the minds of two deadly madmen as seen through the eyes of FBI agent Clarice Starling.
In this scene, the psychotic genius Dr. Hannibal Lecter gives hints to Starling about how to track down the serial killer nicknamed Buffalo Bill. "Bill" is really a man named Gumb, who first kidnaps his female victims, then holds them prisoner. He then fattens his victims up in order to stretch out their skin, so he can flay them and use their hides for an ongoing project. Lecter's voiceover is used as cold, clinical counterpoint to the grim reality of Gumb's underground lair, where Gumb holds his current captive, Catherine.
INT. MR. GUMB'S CELLAR - DAY
VERY CLOSE ON a cocoon, split along its back, as a
living Death's-head Moth wriggles torturously
free. Trembling and damp, the new creature clings
to a sprig of nightshade.
DR. LECTER (V.O.)
You should try to obtain a list of
males rejected from all three gender
reassignment centers...
PULLING BACK -
we see a big wire cage, holding several of the
moths. They crawl over the humus floor or feed at
honeycombs, wings pumping lazily. In the distant
b.g., the incongruous SOUND of show music.
DR. LECTER (contd., V.O.)
Check first the ones rejected for
lying about criminal records...
CONTINUOUS MOVING ANGLE -
at about knee level, as we leave the cage, and
begin to TRAVEL through this eerie, dimly-lit
warren of a cellar. As we go - occasionally
TURNING corners, or skirting the dark openings of
unexplored passages - various objects loom
briefly INTO VIEW, overhead - a stainless-steel
work table... a big sink... jars of chemicals...
neat racks of gleaming knives...
DR. LECTER (contd., V.O.)
Among those who tried to conceal their
past, look for severe childhood distur-
bances, associated with violence...
Possibly you'll find a childhood incar-
ceration... Then go to their personality
tests...
We pass a row of female mannequins, some nude,
some wearing colorful leather jackets, designer
knockoffs, in various stages of completion...
then a huge maroon armoire, in Chinese lacquer;
its double doors are slightly ajar... The jaunty
b.g. MUSIC is growing even louder: Fats Waller
singing "Bye Bye Baby." And now we hear something
else, too - the rapid CLICKING of a sewing
machine...
DR. LECTER (contd., V.O.)
Study their drawings, especially. Billy's
house drawings will show no happy future
...No baby carriage, out in the yard. No
pets, no toys, no flowers, no sun...
We TURN another corner, and there is Mr. Gumb
himself. As we APPROACH, his wide back is to us;
he's hunched over an old-fashioned sewing
machine, humming cheerfully, and working a piece
of material that we mercifully cannot see. A
female wig rests near him on a head form. He
wears a hairnet and a beautiful kimono, and pumps
the treadle with his bare feet.
DR. LECTER (contd., V.O.)
His females will be more crudely sketched
than his males - but he'll compensate by
adding exaggerated adornments... jewelry,
big breasts... And his tree drawings -
oh, his trees will be frightful...
Next to Mr. Gumb is an antique phonograph -
source of the MUSIC. His little dog, Precious,
perches by his plump ankles.
As we PASS Mr. Gumb, Precious scurries away from
him, panting happily, and we FOLLOW the little
dog down another corridor, the music starting to
fade behind us...
DR. LECTER (contd., V.O.)
Billy hates his own identity, he always
has - and he thinks that makes him a
transsexual. But his pathology is a
thousand times more savage... He wants to
be reborn, Clarice. He will be reborn...
At the end of this final corridor, the cellar
widens into a low-ceilinged chamber, with two
additional doorways, and in the center of this is
the gaping circle of the oubliette. Precious
sniffs her way over to the edge - excited, tail
wagging - than BARKS happily as we hear a hoarse,
ghostly moan from below.
CATHERINE (O.S.)
Pleeeeeeeease.....!
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Not only is this scene emotionally engaging and startling, but it also excels from a technical standpoint. By providing several layers of information at once, the scene fulfills multiple duty. This kind of multi-functional scene both saves space in the script, and makes your work deeply resonant because so much information is packed into a such a small space. Ideally, most screenplay scenes should be as rich in emotional and informational content.
Screenwriting is as legitimate and difficult a vehicle for creative expression as any other media. It takes concentration, skill, and competence of execution to effectively engage a reader of your work. Yet the demands of screenwriting, attached as they are to commerce, are unusual. You're not simply trying to entertain your readers -- you want them to commit time, energy, and possibly tens of millions of dollars to see your vision to fruition as a feature film.
Write well and creatively, and you may succeed.
Related Links:
"Alien"
Screenplay by Walter Hill, David Giler, and Dan O' Bannon, revised final draft, June 1978.
"The
Silence of the Lambs"
Screenplay by Ted Tally based on the novel by Thomas Harris, 2nd draft July 28, 1989. This
draft uses different names for some of the main characters for legal reasons, but in my
above excerpt I changed the placeholder name "Dr. Quinn" back to "Dr.
Lecter" in order to avoid confusion for those familiar with the film.
The draft of "The Shawshank Redemption" from which I quote is the 3rd Draft (Final), dated 2/22/93, and is available in a beautiful Newmarket Press edition.
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